ImNoBetterThanU

Busyness.. Complexity... Honestly this list could go on and on...      We need to just simplify. How is it that we get so caught up in things that we allow our souls to get so cluttered. Makes me think of a quote from the movie The Brothers Bloom where one of the characters told the other she believed he was constipated in his soul. Too graphic for you? So sorry...welcome to my blog. #keepinitreal Public Service Announcement: I also do not condone the watching of the aforementioned movie if you are easily offended HA!      So for me in 2017 I want to simplify; allowing the simple things to keep me holding on. Life will be much easier. With all the clutter, the "constipation", it causes unnecessary stress and tension that can lead to a feeling of being lost. For me, it will also cause me to (figuratively) hold on to things so tightly that eventually I will lose my grip and free fall. Thus falling into a state in which further causes confusion an...

     Are you content in life? Complacent? Comfortable?      Well are you?      Or are you working to improve yourself?      You may be in the best place of your life. Great friends, great job, debt free, 100% healthy, etc. But is that where you want to stay? I would hope not. There is never any reason to stop growing in life. When I was younger, I used to always quote a saying. "Birth is the beginning if the dying process."      There is so much wrong with that statement.  Whereas one could argue the "truth" in that statement I would have to wholeheartedly disagree. While we are on this earth we have so much to live for and when you are living your life to the fullest and the best of your ability then you can truly have an incredibly positive impact on those individuals placed in your path.      Have a I perfected this thing called life? HAHAHAHAHAHAHA Fat chance! But you know wha...

     I have been consistently pursuing a healthier lifestyle for several months now. This includes but is not limited to: healthier eating, more exercise, more rest, and more "me" time. Aside from just feeling better, my primary motivation is to have better health in general for Andrew's sake. I know the time will come when I will get to spend more time with him and I am not getting any younger. I want the precious time I do get with him to be the best it can be. If he wants to go to the park for four hours I want to be able to "hang" with him. As he gets older he will likely get into other sports or active lifestyle hobbies and I want to be able to do those things with him.      The progress I have seen in 2014 has been tremendous. It is a direct result of my dedication and consistency. This is also helping my finances, the gym comes out to approximately a dollar a day and so I can redirect money from other "entertainment" activities to chip away at...

     Some of you know I was never truly a distance runner, but a couple years ago I was approached to train for and run a half-marathon to raise money for A21  and all proceeds we raised would go to fight human trafficking. After not only hearing of the atrocities involved with human trafficking and sex slaves throughout the world, but actually meeting girls who had been rescued from such a horrific life I was all in. Thus began months of difficult training. When I first began I went to the local high school to begin my training...it was humiliating. I honestly could not run a lap which in case you are unaware is a quarter-mile. Additionally, in case you are unaware a half-marathon is 13.1 miles! Clearly I had a lot of work ahead of me which would require diligence and patience. Fast forward a few months and I completed the half-marathon (albeit running ten miles and walking out the last three due to inadequate stretching of my IT b...

No I am not writing about the TV series with Kirk Cameron. Nor am I talking about physical pains caused from skeletal or muscular growth periods in childhood. Rather I am talking about Spiritual, emotional, relational, psychological, etc. Yeah pretty much everything else other than the two aforementioned non issues I am currently dealing with.      In my previous post I wrote of this tough season I am experiencing. A season where our mighty God has led me into the wilderness. A season where I am on the potter's wheel being worked over by the sovereign hands of God. A season where both my Spirit and soul are being stretched. A season where my faith is being tested and as a result is growing exponentially as I learn to further surrender myself to His will.      One thing we need to remember too is Jesus (as God in the flesh here in earth) endured the same struggles we do so He truly does understand. I like this that I read from Max Lucado : Becaus...

Toughest season ever... It feels as though I am losing everything... I believe that is the point, God is stripping me down to bare minimum until I press even more into Him.... The confusing thing is I am chasing after God, pressing in, seeking more of Him.... This is just one of those seasons of stretching, testing of my faith... It hurts. I pray it ends soon.

     God's forgiveness is absolute; we are the ones that struggle with forgiveness (both giving and receiving). Until you truly believe this in your heart you can not experience true freedom from your past. It is much easier to believe this in your mind than to allow that belief to travel eighteen inches to the heart.      What I am about to share with you, many of you know about my past...most of you do not. This part of my life goes back to early 2004. This was a time when I was working for a publication company during the week and working in a friends bar on the weekends. At this time I was living a life of total immorality. I was drunk every weekend (fringe benefit of being a bartender), I was living in promiscuity, smoking one to two packs of cigarettes a day, and the occasional joint would top things off. I was a poor steward of relationships in my life (both family and friends), I was a poor steward of money,...

I have to be honest. Even with the posts I have written this year in trying to encourage you all in so many ways I wanted off the ride of life this morning. No I do not mean suicide; I just wanted to get off and stand static on solid ground, going no where. Life can be rough, it can be a scary ride. The reality is that getting off the ride would help nothing. If anything it would prolong (or completely eliminate) any growth, learning, momentum, moving forward, etc. Eventually I would have to get back on the ride and I would be right where I was when I got off. We have a choice to react or to respond and the choices we make are directly correlated to how our relationship with God will develop. It is important for us to keep our faith through seasons of struggling. "Our faith is in direct proportion to the absence of fear in our lives. Where fears begins, faith ends. Where there is faith there is no fear." -Marvin Yakos In the past I would allow fear to gain co...

The title of this post is such a common phrase used in our society. Yet I believe that it is used out of context most of the time. We (myself included) make that statement as though we have transformed into this new person and progressed beyond whatever bondage, oppression, and sin was previously in our lives. It implies that we ourselves have done something positive in our own effort to get past all the junk from our past and be a better person. This is all wrong! It should not be "who I have become" but rather "becoming who I am". Although it is a process that we must go through it is more about us experiencing healing in our lives (physical, emotional, mental, etc.) that leads to the progressive sanctification of becoming who God intended us to be all along. The person He had in mind when he so carefully designed us down to every minute detail. It is truly about total surrender and submission to His will. We live in a fallen world. We make mistakes. Circum...

As this Thanksgiving day is rapidly coming to a close I have been reflecting on the last year. It has been the most amazing year of my entire life. The physical and emotional healing that God has done in my life would have previously been unimaginable had you asked me one year ago. The emotional, psychological, mental, spiritual, and yes even physical growth I have experienced over the last year has been miraculous as you consider where I have been in life. At this point in my life I could give you a long list of current circumstances in my life that would have had me stressed, worried, angry, and bitter (just to name a few) just twelve months ago. In fact, my overall circumstances in life were much better than they currently are and I still allowed many of the aforementioned emotions and feelings to control my life at this time last year. However, today I can say I am joyful and at peace with myself and my life. I am also being used daily to impact peoples...

Have you ever been faced with the daunting task of restoring something that is old, rundown, falling apart? Something that is in the poorest condition after years of abuse and being misused? Was it discouraging just thinking about it? I can relate. Sometimes we never complete the task...maybe we never even start the task. Well, I am here to talk about something that was abused, mistreated, malnourished, etc. All of this went on for well over a decade. Can you imagine the condition of something after more than ten years of this? How do you view that looking, feeling, projecting to others? You know what that something is? My soul... For years sexual immorality, drugs, alcohol, gossip, slander, manipulation, tearing others down, making fun, etc. These are the things I was doing and/or exposed to for over ten years. The very thing that is a gift to us all I abused. I filled it with lust, lasciviousness, envying, revellings, etc. Corrupting my soul to the point of d...

What is the difference? ...between me and everyone else you know. Many people that know me may answer that question by saying "nothing". I wholly desire that everyone  that knows me (and those that do not know me that I simply come in contact with) would answer the opposite. I realize that there is but an interstice between my alterity and me being utterly familiar to those that encounter my presence in my life. That interstice is simply the difference between radical obedience and selective obedience. I want to be radically obedient at all times. Even if this radical obedience causes non believers to call me a Bible thumper or even if it causes my friends at church to call me a super-spiritual geek. None of this matters. Assiduous attention should be paid to our actions in life. Jesus had asked that we consume Him; be preoccupied with Him day and night. That is what I want. I want to make a difference in this life. A difference in the life of my son Andrew, his m...

So this was in interesting evening. After an amazing church service kicking off the new series " The One Thing " with Vernon Wells being the guest, I proceeded upstairs to go to the Bible study as I have so many times before.  Only it was not happening tonight...LOL So... I proceeded to try to find something to do; it seemed as though every one had something going on. I thought I would go eat. Well, as I was driving I thought I would go check out Nordstram Rack whereas I have been told on numerous occasions it is a great place to shop. Well, I discovered a couple of things... First, I must have horrible fashion sense. The reason I say that is because I would not wear most of the things I saw in there. I guess I am too much of a simple man for "true fashion" HAHAHA Secondly, I had been told it was cheap (or at least more inexpensive) well from the prices I saw it must be the equivalent of a ROSS or T.J. Maxx for Bill Gates and Donald Tr...

Let me start by telling any and all readers happy new year. So December was a truly rocky month for me emotionally, spiritually, physically, psychologically, and physiologically. What? You think I am a mess? Well, we all are if you want to be honest with yourself. One thing I can say is that over the last year I have made huge strides to being more healthy in all the aforementioned areas and I am. However, life is a continual process of progressive sanctification and I am aware of that. I know that at this time last year and especially just 18 months ago I was doing drugs, getting drunk often, and very promiscuous to top it all off. Well, thankfully I can say those  days are behind me, but now time to work on resolving other problems...again this growth should be  progressive.  This brings me to an issue with which I have gotten much better than I was, say fifteen years ago yet still need some work in this area. Whereas my i...

honestly I can not count how many times I had "quit" smoking in my life prior to the most recent, which was a few months ago. However, this time there is something different. Previously (if brought up in conversation) I would say, "I am trying to quit, it has been [fill in the blank] days, weeks, months, etc." The difference this time is that for the first time in over fifteen years, I actually think of myself as a nonsmoker! It happened a few days ago when I was the gym and my mind was wondering and covering all kinds of topics (as it always does 24/7). It was at that moment that the thought went through my mind that I am actually a nonsmoker. Now if I could only get back into the habit of consistently exercising...

Well, here we are. My first blogoversary! I figured with this I should begin writing again. It has been far too long since I have regularly posted entries in here.  Well the last year was definitely filled with all kinds of change, adversity, etc.  January:  at the time I began writing in this blog I was just coming out of a state of pretty severe depression that was a result of a time in my life of obfuscation. I had never experienced depression before (whereas I am a predominantly happy go lucky kind of person) so it took me a while to even figure out what was wrong within myself. During that time I also began consistently experiencing migraine headaches that would last days. It was what some would call a low-point in my life. The turn around began when I flew into Texas for the holidays. I was able to visit my mother and sister and try to get my thoughts worked out. It worked...I went back to my home in Virginia after the holidays with a new sense of motivation.  February:  I decide...

As you can probably tell I have been experiencing a bit of writer's block as of late. Not that my good days produce exceelent posts here...LOL Anyway to fill some time I have compelted a stupid survey for youa ll to read.  Is smoki​ng one of your turn offs?​ Well, it certainly does not turn me on but I can think of worse habits to have.  Would​ you ever consi​der havin​g an onlin​e relat​ionsh​ip?​ No I like the real world!  Do you like the song 'I Kisse​d A Girl'​ by Katy Perry​?​ Never heard it until last week...I would not purchase for my iPod but it is OK I suppose.  Do you liste​n to your frien​d'​s advic​e when they give it to you? I always listen, whether or not I follow it is another story. LOL What'​s the last kind of soup you ate? Broccoli and Cheese...mmmm Does it gross​ you out when girls​ don'​t shave​ their​ legs/​armpi​ts?​ Depends on the situation...have they missed a few days or do they resemble primates? What'​s so great​ about​ the Jonas​ ...

...here is a survey. 1) Favorite hobby? I honestly do not know anymore. I suppose surfing the 'net. Sad and pathetic? I know, I have no life. 2) How do you feel about your ex? I feel that she is a wonderful woman and I wish her the best. 3) Do you own guns? I do not but I would and hope to one day. Or I could just rent them at the shooting gallery. 4) What flavor do you add to your drink at Sonic? I do not order drinks at Sonic I have my  Nalgene  bottle of water. 5) Do you get nervous before doctor appointments? No, I no longer have insurance so there is no need for doctors appointments! 6) What do you think of hot dogs? I think that hot dogs are fairly disgusting; but I can not say that I never eat them. 7) Favorite Christmas song? I have no idea. 8) What do you prefer to drink in the morning? I prefer water over anything; but coffee can help kick start a rough morning. 9) Can you do push ups? Perfect  ones... 10) Can you do a chin up? I c...

because I have a long journey ahead of me now. Today it was confirmed that I am a father! Now why a new horse carriage? Because I need something durable, I have missed out on the the first three and half years of his life. It has not completely sunk in so I have a lot to do which is obvious. This will truly be a turning point in my life that God will have to guide me through in order to do things as quickly and efficiently as possible. His birthday is three days after mine! Oh how I wish I could hold him now. My own flesh and blood...how crazy is that? One of the greatest things about this entire situation is his mother is approaching this situation with the mindset of collaboration, not isolation. How amazing is that? At a point in my life where I was beginning to humble myself and possibly take it too far by it leading to a feeling of insignificance, I am given the good news. There is nothing insignificant at all about being a father! I am working to control a dollop of desperation t...

I feel that the title explains where I am at in life currently. I feel much like a neophyte... For over a decade I used drugs, sex, alcohol, and other things to be what made me whole in life. All the while fighting and denying what I knew was right and going with the wrong. Now...do I have regrets? NO. Do I wish I had done things differently? Oftentimes I do. Do I dwell on the past and let it affect where I am currently. NO. Did I learn from my past? Absolutely! Do I have a TON more to learn? OH Yeah! My point is that we all have done things we should not have done. We have all done things that we may not be proud of. (If you try to say that you have not done the aforementioned...you are lying, which you should not do) . Well I wish I could make more of a point here but I can not. I guess this post is more for me to look back on in a few years and say "hmmmm" *Update*: the whole reason I started to write this post was to mention how great the show I saw to night was! I went...