ImNoBetterThanU

     What does that even mean? Well, it means that four years ago on this day I wrote my first blog posting ever . Going back and reading that last night was interesting to say the least.      I referenced my time in middle school and high school as "...some of the best years of my life." and my move to California "...was the best move I had made...", and even my time in Virginia had its postives whereas I "...minimized smoking, drinking, and eating out.".      Reading that was highly  encouraging. Realizing how far I have come. I was far from living a healthy lifestyle at that time period of my life physically, emotionally, psychologically, or Spiritually. At that time I was scared, confused, and alone. It was before I discovered Andrew , the greatest gift God has ever given me. A time when I knew little of how to be a good friend, son, brother, father, boyfriend, etc. (Which by the way is an area I still have a long way to...

I find it amazing how common an occurrence it is in our society today to have individuals promise to let go of the past and "start over". These same individual then stridently do the exact opposite.  In fact, I do not just see it with individuals today but also spreading into our corporate world. Look at all of these companies wanting a bailout. How do we expect these organizations to ever change if they are "bailed out"?  How do we ever expect them to truly change their business practices unless you let them fail and then be forced to restructure? Not to say that it is not possible to make the necessary changes for survival without a helping hand...but seriously....is that what we are seeing? IAG being caught on two different occasions at resorts holding so-called restructuring conferences where they spend hundreds of thousands of dollars in one weekend. You have banks getting billions in bail-out money then laying off thousands of employees, just to turn around an...

Well, here we are. My first blogoversary! I figured with this I should begin writing again. It has been far too long since I have regularly posted entries in here.  Well the last year was definitely filled with all kinds of change, adversity, etc.  January:  at the time I began writing in this blog I was just coming out of a state of pretty severe depression that was a result of a time in my life of obfuscation. I had never experienced depression before (whereas I am a predominantly happy go lucky kind of person) so it took me a while to even figure out what was wrong within myself. During that time I also began consistently experiencing migraine headaches that would last days. It was what some would call a low-point in my life. The turn around began when I flew into Texas for the holidays. I was able to visit my mother and sister and try to get my thoughts worked out. It worked...I went back to my home in Virginia after the holidays with a new sense of motivation.  February:  I decide...

Those are the statistics provided by the doctor on my son! Below is him being happy as can be inthe waiting room! WooHooo!

is a difficult thing. The key is not letting those difficulties become pervasive; which I myself have difficulty in that department. Is it normal? Am I weak? Who knows. Many of you that know me; know that I am an optimist and usually very cheery. The problem with being like I am is that when I do have a bad/tough day it can be severely misconstrued by those I come in contact with. They may feel I am ignoring them, I am angry with them, or whatever else the minds of individuals can create. But through it all I have God and my son to keep me going! And his mother has been absolutely amazing through this all and it will not be long before we can all be closer and show Andrew what family is and should be.

because I have a long journey ahead of me now. Today it was confirmed that I am a father! Now why a new horse carriage? Because I need something durable, I have missed out on the the first three and half years of his life. It has not completely sunk in so I have a lot to do which is obvious. This will truly be a turning point in my life that God will have to guide me through in order to do things as quickly and efficiently as possible. His birthday is three days after mine! Oh how I wish I could hold him now. My own flesh and blood...how crazy is that? One of the greatest things about this entire situation is his mother is approaching this situation with the mindset of collaboration, not isolation. How amazing is that? At a point in my life where I was beginning to humble myself and possibly take it too far by it leading to a feeling of insignificance, I am given the good news. There is nothing insignificant at all about being a father! I am working to control a dollop of desperation t...

They truly have nothing in common but I am feeling lazy today and did not want to add two new posts. And honestly I have been waiting for a while to blog about Intellivision in hopes of coming up with some witty/comical post for you all to read. Well, sorry...I got nothin'. Suck it up and keep reading folks, you came this far did you not? I ran across some interesting information today...Medical field(s) with the highest divorce rate: psychiatrists and marriage counselors. I just found that interesting (however not surprised). ...on a lighter note... Golly, gee, Wally Do any of the rest of you remember (or did you also own) the kick ass gaming console called 'Intellivision'?I did and it was awesome!! It played very well on our 18 year old RCA television as well. Remember the RCA TVs that would outlive your family pets? Yeah, those were cool too. Then some genius notified our consumer electronic companies that if they build them to last for so long we will not purchase more....

letter. That is what I handed in to work today. Yes the opportunity I accepted less than two months ago....yeah that is the one. More to come later.

I sincerely believe that I have reached my apogee in life and can worry less about my future. Of course there will be plenty of disasters, road blocks, speed bumps, flat tires, etc. all along the way but I have truly pulled myself together enough to feel that I am now heading in the right direction. I mean they say we go full circle right? Ashes to ashes; dust to dust. So it seems logical to have an analogy of life as an orbit. At least to me it does. That is really all I have for now; I realize it was vague and possibly meaningless to some of you but it is where I am right now. With that all being said I by no means feel I am now on easy street. I have a job I do not like, I am in my 30's living with my mother, and college (among other things) has provided me with an immense amount of debt. But now that I am past the apogee things are looking bright.

for what you ask? Too bad. I can say this... It is something I was recently hunting for. Funny how life works sometimes. I have evolved and grown so much since moving back to Texas that it has truly been an amazing journey and I am sure will continue to be just that. If the last three months are indicative at all as to how the rest of 2008 will be then I will have a great year! Have I hit speed bumps and come across pit falls? Of course. But that is all just part of life. The key is how you react to those "disasters" (if you will). Better yet we should all be acting upon other situations rather than allowing ourselves to fall in to the trap of always reacting. It is important that we keep a positive attitude and not allow difficulties to get us down. Something I have been struggling with the last two days. I am simply doing all I can to be proactive in changing the things in my life that I do not like and acting in a manner that will allow for positive change.

life is such an amazing journey. Your eyes are always opened at some point as well when you know that it is truly time to turn the page and move on to the next chapter in your life. It is never easy but it is something that is necessary for personal growth. If there is something in your life that repeatedly causes you to act impetuously then it is probably best that you remove that from your life. When these things consistently occur time and time again, one could say that this is highly indicative of being a major cause of angst and pain in life. When strong emotions are involved in these types of things it only makes it much more difficult to actually sever the ties and move on but it is better for everyone involved in the end. It is difficult (maybe impossible for some) to see this as not being erroneous but, years down the road everyone involved to look back at this day as a true turning point. The day some of life's complications were eradicated and the next chapter could begi...

As promised...here is a continuation of my life. However, last night I had realized that I had merged in some previously entered posts from LiveJournal so there is much more of my history contained within my little piece of the blog world than I thought. Blah, blah, blah....as though any of you care...lol Well when I last left you in such great suspense I was rambling on about scuffed knees, impatient drivers, and dead-end street...exciting I know! LOL Soon afterward I was allowed to ride to school which was a very "cool" thing to do. It was the most expeditious way to get to school with exception of my parents taking me. I lived too close (just inside the five mile radius) to have a bus stop near my house. Whereas I truly enjoyed this new found independence it came at a price. It did not take long before some high school kids realized that I would be riding along one of the major streets everyday around the same time. They found it amusing to harass me by speeding by as clos...

Having been raised in church and having that good foundation to fall back on in times of need was truly helpful to me throughout life. Many that know me would never know that I was raised in church and at one point in my life was very actively involved and those that I did tell this too likely found it to be spurious. Years of introspection have led me to want to return to church and get more involved. Well, that time has finally arrived. As stated in previous posts I moved back to TX on March 1st of this year. On March 8th my mother invited me to her church. It was incredible...whereas I have been to church a few times in the last decade I never truly felt at "home" when I went...until now. Less than a month later I have since joined the church and a "home group" for singles. Tonight was the first meeting of the "home group" and I am very glad that I will now be a part of it. I was able to meet and associate with some great people that I know will lead to...