ImNoBetterThanU

Busyness.. Complexity... Honestly this list could go on and on...      We need to just simplify. How is it that we get so caught up in things that we allow our souls to get so cluttered. Makes me think of a quote from the movie The Brothers Bloom where one of the characters told the other she believed he was constipated in his soul. Too graphic for you? So sorry...welcome to my blog. #keepinitreal Public Service Announcement: I also do not condone the watching of the aforementioned movie if you are easily offended HA!      So for me in 2017 I want to simplify; allowing the simple things to keep me holding on. Life will be much easier. With all the clutter, the "constipation", it causes unnecessary stress and tension that can lead to a feeling of being lost. For me, it will also cause me to (figuratively) hold on to things so tightly that eventually I will lose my grip and free fall. Thus falling into a state in which further causes confusion an...

     So I just came out of a whirlwind of a near fantasy month. So amazing it is difficult to describe.      It began with the celebration of our freedom on Independence day weekend.  How can one not rejoice in a time as such. With everything going on in America many have lost hope, but hopelessness is not  what our nation was built upon. As Bono of U2 stated, America is not a country it is an idea. The definition of an idea is "a thought or suggestion as to a possible course of action" or "the aim of purpose". It is ever evolving and whether you believe it or not we do maintain a certain level of control within the shaping of that idea. One thing we have to remember is that media thrives on the negative because they want ratings. They will use images and sounds to paint a picture to portray to the minds of the world in a way they feel will draw more people in and increase their ratings. Kind of sick, I know. But there is also so much good progr...

     Are you content in life? Complacent? Comfortable?      Well are you?      Or are you working to improve yourself?      You may be in the best place of your life. Great friends, great job, debt free, 100% healthy, etc. But is that where you want to stay? I would hope not. There is never any reason to stop growing in life. When I was younger, I used to always quote a saying. "Birth is the beginning if the dying process."      There is so much wrong with that statement.  Whereas one could argue the "truth" in that statement I would have to wholeheartedly disagree. While we are on this earth we have so much to live for and when you are living your life to the fullest and the best of your ability then you can truly have an incredibly positive impact on those individuals placed in your path.      Have a I perfected this thing called life? HAHAHAHAHAHAHA Fat chance! But you know wha...

     So today on this Memorial Day of 2015 when we honor our fallen troops of past and the men and women currently serving our country to protect our freedom I felt led to open the blog, blow off the dust, and write a new post.      Today I exercised my great freedom by participating in  the Murph Challenge . I did not really have a strong desire to do so, but knowing all the sacrifices made by the aforementioned men and women I felt I could endure some suck in honor of them. More specifically Lt. Michael P. Murphy endured far more than I have in my entire life so it only felt right. His story can be read here .      I can also say that as hectic a day as I have had, awakening at 5:30 this morning and just now getting to a point where I can sit an relax (now 5:25 pm) this was sincerely the most amazing and memorable Memorial Day I can remember in all of the 39 times I have revolved around the sun. Good exercise, good friends (see bel...

I want to preface this entire post by saying I am not preaching or condemning those that make choices differently than mine. I am simply thinking out loud through my writing (Typing Out Loud). I have always found writing to be therapeutic and wish I could get back to doing so more often. Physically       It has been scientifically proven that what you ingest becomes one with your body. Even common sense will tell you that. Does everything you ingest come out of you? No. Your body absorbs much of it. Sure our bodies are designed to emit waste which we do through sweat, urine, feces. That is why I do not follow the whole IIFYM theory.      As many of you know 2014 has been a year where I have intentionally dedicated to be a more healthy individual. Exercising regularly and eating better. Back to the IIFYM, I know many people that follow this ideology and they eat pies, candy, ice cream...well whatever they want so long as it fits within their daily macro...

     So earlier today as I was checking out my feed on Google+ I ran across someone using Matthew 6:3 - 4  to be what I felt was condemning to Christians for participating in the ice bucket challenge for ALS. It also had a link attached to a blog pointing out all the things the organization does to "violate Biblical ethics".      Now I agree that it is good to educate others on practices that may not align with your values and belief system, but at the same time this challenge has raised a lot of awareness and I would bet raised millions of dollars for a disease I have had ties to in my past. There is no known cure and it always  leads to death. Family members have to watch their loved ones deteriorate physically while their mental awareness remains intact. It is a horrible disease.      I am sure not everyone will agree with my opinion on the matter, but I think we need to be careful of being so judgmental and unwilling to do b...

       This last Friday evening and then Saturday we had a conference at my church entitled "oneness Weekend". At first glance many may believe this to be a marriage conference. It was not...or was it? We are called to be the bride of Christ and I can assure you after this last weekend I feel closer and deeper in relationship with Him than I did when I awakened Friday morning.      This all began Friday evening when J.T. Mlinarcik Began by giving a highly detailed medical account of what Christ went though on that bloody Sunday more than 2,000 years ago. By hearing it laid out by a medical professional it makes it all more tangible than just a story in a book. I have always known that it was much more brutal an experience than ever depicted by any movie or photo I have seen, but it still brings it to a new life.      All of this led me to realize that I could definitely suffer more for His glory. I am no different than most Americ...

     I have been consistently pursuing a healthier lifestyle for several months now. This includes but is not limited to: healthier eating, more exercise, more rest, and more "me" time. Aside from just feeling better, my primary motivation is to have better health in general for Andrew's sake. I know the time will come when I will get to spend more time with him and I am not getting any younger. I want the precious time I do get with him to be the best it can be. If he wants to go to the park for four hours I want to be able to "hang" with him. As he gets older he will likely get into other sports or active lifestyle hobbies and I want to be able to do those things with him.      The progress I have seen in 2014 has been tremendous. It is a direct result of my dedication and consistency. This is also helping my finances, the gym comes out to approximately a dollar a day and so I can redirect money from other "entertainment" activities to chip away at...

     Some of you know I was never truly a distance runner, but a couple years ago I was approached to train for and run a half-marathon to raise money for A21  and all proceeds we raised would go to fight human trafficking. After not only hearing of the atrocities involved with human trafficking and sex slaves throughout the world, but actually meeting girls who had been rescued from such a horrific life I was all in. Thus began months of difficult training. When I first began I went to the local high school to begin my training...it was humiliating. I honestly could not run a lap which in case you are unaware is a quarter-mile. Additionally, in case you are unaware a half-marathon is 13.1 miles! Clearly I had a lot of work ahead of me which would require diligence and patience. Fast forward a few months and I completed the half-marathon (albeit running ten miles and walking out the last three due to inadequate stretching of my IT b...

DISOBEDIENCE! I seem to be in a season of struggling with this. Why!? Why!?      I know the consequences hurt not only myself but, my Spiritual walk and the Spiritual walk of others as well There is no sin that does not effect other individuals...especially murder.      Now before you grab your phone to call the police to report me...there is no need. The ultimate judge...the one whom I murdered already knows. All sin is a result of disobedience and disobedience is what killed our King. He said it h\Himself. 19   Has not Moses given you the law? Yet none of you keeps the law. Why do you seek to kill me?"        Knowing this; one would think I would stop doing the very thing that caused my Lord's beard to be ripped out of His face. The shards of bone, clay, cacti settling deep within the flesh of His back only to be ripped out with brutal force. Need I go on? He suffered a brutal death and He did i...

     Are you an individual who goes to a Joyce Meyer conference, your church's annual men's or women's conference, or a retreat of some kind and get all fired up for Jesus? You walk out ready to be the light you are called to be in this world of darkness? How long does that zeal last?      Carrying the light of life  it an absolute honor! We should be proud about being given the opportunity to be a witness to others. I know there was a time in my life when I believed I needed to preach the gospel to everyone around me and live this perfect, righteous life! Well, that is exactly how we may just push others further away from being a follower of Christ. Others then see us only as judgmental hypocrites. When we behave in these ways we cannot expect to be commiserated by others when they see us mess up. We are commanded only to love others; when we do this in a Godly way then our actions alone do all the preaching ...

     So I was born into sin...so were you. We began life as heterogeneous beings, we were lost. Then Jesus came to this earth in the most vulnerable way possible...as a baby. Humbling to me...if you really think about that rather than just reading it as a story a book. The fear Mary must have had in telling her fiance, her parents, her friends when she was pregnant. It was even less accepted then, than it is today. The worry or doubt when she was going into labor and there were no rooms available. Those are only two instances of more than nine full months of Mary's young life. ...and who knows, maybe God gave her immeasurable peace through it all I just know Mary was human just like you and I. Regardless, the work Jesus did here on earth and more importantly on the cross, allows us to become homogeneous beings! "We open the Spiritual womb of God when we give our hearts to Him and then we are born again." - Pastor Geoffrey Cohen     ...

     So I had been believing lies of the enemy for several weeks...maybe months. I felt as though I had digressed Spiritually and was "starting over". LIES LIES I tell you. Do not believe this (as I did) regardless of what you have done. I am created in His image and I am still the same warrior for Christ I was when I was peaking in my Spiritual journey last year!      If a soldier goes through all the training and becomes elite to the point of being Delta Force he is an intricately trained warrior. Now, when out in battle if he makes a mistake and gets injured he is no less the trained killer he was prior to the incident. He may have a limp, soreness, etc. However, he is still an elite soldier trained and knowledgeable in the ways of war.      The same goes for us. Confess, repent, and get back into the battle. The longer we wallow in the error of our ways from the past the longer we give then ...

     The removal of weeds within my soul is a painful thing, but ever so worth the freedom it brings and the healing that follows. Progressive sanctification is such a beautiful thing. There are many different ways people reference this work of the Lord. The "peeling of layers like an onion" and "softening the heart and removing scar tissue" to name a couple; in this case I am using the analogy of removing weeds from our lives. Just as in the physical realm when you takeover a rental property that was not maintained you will not eliminate all  weeds in one attempt without further damaging the lawn. My soul was full of overgrown weeds and other garbage because rather than stewarding my body, soul, and Spirit as a gift I treated them all more like a rental property for a number of years. In the same way God will not remove every weed in our life at once whereas we would likely not survive such an action from such a glorious being. He will remove som...

     Last night at VII  Pastor Stephen spoke on deceit. A powerful message...      I would like to think of myself as a man of integrity and actually would pride myself on my integrity. However, as you can likely tell from my recent posts I have struggled with some sin over the last few months. I rationalized my blogging about my struggles as my "confession". The thing was I was being disobedient whereas I clearly heard God telling me to go to pastoral leadership to confess these things. I had avoided it by going to other leaders in the church. Well today I finally did it! I actually confessed it all to two pastors and last night to other leadership in the church and I have to tell you James 5:16 is in full effect. I am hundreds of pounds lighter. In fact just two hours before I began writing this someone at church came up and said, "you look great!". He then went on to tell me he could tell something was not right in my heart an...

No I am not writing about the TV series with Kirk Cameron. Nor am I talking about physical pains caused from skeletal or muscular growth periods in childhood. Rather I am talking about Spiritual, emotional, relational, psychological, etc. Yeah pretty much everything else other than the two aforementioned non issues I am currently dealing with.      In my previous post I wrote of this tough season I am experiencing. A season where our mighty God has led me into the wilderness. A season where I am on the potter's wheel being worked over by the sovereign hands of God. A season where both my Spirit and soul are being stretched. A season where my faith is being tested and as a result is growing exponentially as I learn to further surrender myself to His will.      One thing we need to remember too is Jesus (as God in the flesh here in earth) endured the same struggles we do so He truly does understand. I like this that I read from Max Lucado : Becaus...

     Wait what? Do you think I am indecisive now? Just yesterday I wanted to be the weaker brother. Well, I want to be both.      I too can be a mentor and pour into the lives of others. Our precious Lord fills us up so that He can then pour us out. Whereas I may have a very long way to go in my spiritual journey; I am still further along than others and it is my responsibility as a disciple to help others. The best part is, if you are living your life and dying to self daily then you do not even have to try.      By simply being  me (the me I have become through progressive sanctification)  I have been acknowledged, notified, and shown (in some interesting ways) how I have had a positive impact on the lives of many individuals.      In fact, I had a few letters of character reference written by friends for the court hearing I just had in CA and a few of those letters...

I think most of us know the saying "Fool me once shame on you, fool me twice shame on me." Well, I allowed myself to be fooled numerous times over the last couple decades. Primarily this occurred in allowing my emotions to control me in circumstances. I was one who would "blow up", become irate, and express anger in very unhealthy ways. Do not believe me? Just ask ex-girlfriends, family members, friends, or other random victims of my behavioral patterns from my past. I assure you it was bad. In fact I love this quote from Marvin Yakos: "Anger repressed becomes rage when it escapes, or if never allowed to vent, extreme depression." With that being said I want to make it clear that anger in and of itself is not a "bad" emotion. The ways in which we control (or by allowing it to control us) anger is when it can become unhealthy. You may ask where I am going with all of this. Well... Let me give some examples from the last few days showing immen...

So just over two years ago when I began attending my current church I would go in, mingle, worship, listen to the message, take notes, etc. Then I would leave and go about living just as the world lives. Then the conviction began, notice I said conviction and NOT condemnation. At that point I began trying harder to stop doing the things that I knew were sinful behavior and and damaging myself and putting a wedge between myself and God. I kept failing so I tried harder! I might go a few days, then maybe weeks; but all in all I would still fail miserably. So I tried even HARDER! It was so frustrating. Whereas the distance between those times would increase it was so tiring to work so hard to "be good". Then one day... Finally one day I surrendered. I gave over control. Not to say it was all instantaneous and I had no more failure, but it became less tiresome. I gave my heart to God.  You see it is all an issue of the heart, nothing external . Some will disag...